Your child's perspective
Have you loved rocking, hugging or singing your child to sleep?
When it is time for your child to go to sleep, have you embraced rocking them, hugging them or even sung them to sleep? These beautiful moments in your child’s life of love is nothing to be ashamed of. These are all really natural behaviours for you to do and patterns that we fall into as parents. Putting your child to sleep happens in so many ways and is different for every family. My motto with my clients is it isn’t a problem until it is a problem for you.
Maybe your little one is getting too heavy? Maybe you are pregnant and can’t do it all without killing your back? Maybe it isn’t working anymore? These are all very valid reasons which you may need to adjust- but what to do next? I can help you in a private consult or in today’s blog I ask you to think about your baby or child’s perspective when you are planning your next move.
Your baby has learnt that when I am rocked, hugged or comforted it is sleep time. This may be their sleep association or feeding to sleep. From their perspective- all of a sudden mum or dad thinks they can pop me into a cot and walk away- I am bewildered and confused as I don’t know how to “self-settle.” I need to be supported and helped to master this new skill.
No quick fix will work. An infant will not go to sleep perfectly in 30 seconds today or in a week as the app promised. However over time they will get there. As a parent you need to observe the signs, help regulate, challenge and respond to your child at the same time.
Not only as an infant adjusting to sleeping on a weird/cold sleep surface and not next to your warm body and rhythmical heartbeat is unnerving, this is sensory overload and so-so reassuring.
With all of this in mind I have a few tips
- Only make changes if you have the energy, time and patience to give your child the time and space required.
- You and your partner need to be on the same page and supportive of each other
- Always start in the morning for the first nap of the day.
- Don’t go cold turkey, put them in the cot drowsy and pat them off to sleep. Slowly working towards a hands-off approach
- Don’t rush, they may go to sleep once on their own once but that is not a guarantee it will happen for the next sleep.
These are only a few of my tips as every child's temperament is different but please consider your child and make a plan before you start. Surround yourself with good advice and not outdated methods such as crying it out. If you would like help making some changes in your house or virtually, book a consultation here.